The Opening of Minds and Hearts

Is the opening of your heart or your mind more important? Which is more critical to your success in life and for inviting prosperity and riches into your life? Does the saying “Keep an open mind” speak to you or does “Follow your heart” call to you stronger. My guess is it is the former.

Many people believe that their minds (i.e. their thought) are what make them who they are. However, we were born into this world without thoughts only feelings. That being the case, it could be said that the essence of who we truly are does not lie in our thoughts and mind but our feelings and heart. Granted, the mind is a great servant – a tool which we can use and harness its power to bring about all our dreams and goals. However, if left to rule, the mind will inevitably take you down to a road where you are trapped by your own thoughts.

Getting in touch with our hearts is an important step in which to build our success upon. It is a guide which is seldom wrong. By all means, use your mind to analyse the roadblocks ahead but follow your heart. If it feels right – Go for it!

There are two quotes which illustrate the importance of following one’s heart. “Life is a journey of the heart that requires the mind, NOT the other way around.” and ““The longest journey a man must take is the eighteen inches from his head to his heart.”

A good friend and teacher is doing great work to open hearts and set people free. Check him out at http://www.settingheartsfree.com.

With heart
Lionel Koh

 

The Truth of Success and Happiness

What is the truth behind success and happiness? Is it knowledge? Is it skills? Is it belief? All these are important, but there is one thing that goes to the core of what success is. It is the Truth of yourself. Most specifically, knowing the truth of who you are.

When everything in your life is taken away from you, there is only one thing left – yourself. By knowing who you truly are and who you are born to be, you will be able to find a deep strength that you can tap into whenever you are faced with challenges, unsure of you next step or simply down.

Howard Thurman said it very well: “There is something in every one of you that waits and listens for the sound of the genuine in yourself. It is the only true guide you will ever have. And if you cannot hear it, you will all of your life spend your days on the ends of strings that somebody else pulls.”

Who do you listen to? What do you tell yourself? What is it about you that others see? What does your relationship with the world tells others about you? All these questions can be answered…if you dare to take the step to find out your true self.

Let me know what you think. Please drop me your comments.

With heart and love
Lionel Koh

 

To Achieve Your Dreams…Remember your ABCs

Avoid Negative Sources, People, Things And Habits.
Believe In Yourself.
Consider Things from Every Angle.
Don’t Give Up.
Enjoy Life Today; Yesterday Is Gone And Tomorrow May Never Come.
Family and Friends are Hidden Treasures. Seek Them and Value Them.
Give More than you Planned to Give.
Hang On to your Dreams.
Ignore Those Who Try to Discourage You.
Just Do It.
Keep On Trying No Matter How Hard It Seems. It Will Get Better.
Love Yourself First and Foremost.
Make It Happen.
Never Lie, Cheat or Steal. Always Strike a Fair Deal.
Open Your Eyes (and Heart) and See things as They Really Are.
Practice Makes Perfect.
Quitters Never Win and Winners Never Quit.
Read, Study and Learn About Everything Important in your Life.
Stop Procrastinating.
Take Control of Your Own Destiny.
Understand Yourself In Order to Better Understand Others.
Visualise It.
Want It More than Anything.
Xccelarate Your Efforts.
You Are Unique Amongst All of Nature’s Creations. Nothing Can Replace You.
Zero In On Your Target. And Go for It!!

 

Mindfulness in every moment

We are all creatures of habit. More often than not, the things we do are not borne out of conscious thought but from habits. Have you ever driven around in your car and you automatically drove home without even thinking? Some times you even drove home despite you wanting to go somewhere else. I know I have done that.

This is a result of habit. And habits are what determine our future and our outcomes. Our habits are the results of constant thought and actions over an extended period of time. Once we have formed those neural pathways, they become the default mode in our lives.

Many of us are very good with keeping consistent with the big things in our lives. These big things may include buying that big house, getting that promotion and other such things. However, have we ever stopped to think about all the little things we let slide in our lives? Small things such as picking up that piece of litter we dropped, saying ‘yes’ to something that challenges our integrity (no matter how small) or even allowing ourselves to be sucked into conversations about others that we know will not serve us.

Letting these small things slide actually signals to our subconscious that we are alright by these things. What happens then is our subconscious will file that action and thought for later reference. In time, these small actions slowly creep their way into our habits and before we know it, we are sliding into letting slip on the big things too.

What I have learnt from attending The Opening is to be ever-mindful. We have to be mindful in all we do and in every moment. It is only through this mindfulness that we can truly attain the peace, success and the happiness we seek.

In the Buddhist teachings found on The Big View, right mindfulness enables us to be aware of the process of conceptualisation in a way that we actively observe and control the way our thoughts go. Buddha accounted for this as the four foundations of mindfulness: 1. contemplation of the body, 2. contemplation of feeling (repulsive, attractive, or neutral), 3. contemplation of the state of mind, and 4. contemplation of the phenomena.

I have started on the path to staying mindful of my thoughts, feelings and actions. I am committed to continue to do so. I invite you to join me on this journey towards self-discovery and happiness and peace. Do let me know your thoughts.

With heart and love
Lionel Koh

 

What do we do with our time?

Have you ever wondered why you never achieved the results you wanted? You start a project, did everything that you though you should do and worked very hard but have nothing much to show for it. You believe you are as smart and work as hard as the next person but do not get the same results. Some blame their lack of success on luck, on different circumstances, on lack of skill. However, with everything else equal, there is one thing that will truly determine how much success you will generate.

All of us came into this world the same – naked. More importantly, all of us only have 24 hours a day and 168 hours per week. Time is the ultimate equaliser; it is the one thing that money, education, family background and connections cannot buy. A minute lost can never be recovered. Thus, how we spend our time will usually determines our results.

At the start of this year, I started planning my work in one-hour blocks. This forced me to discipline myself to finish the work in the time I allocated for myself for specific tasks. Last month, I was fortunate enough to be involved in a seminar that expanded my perspective to include my whole life into it.

How many of us actually plan our lives down to the details? To the uninitiated, it seems like a futile and unnecessary exercise. However, if we analyse it more closely, we will find that there are many period in the day that we actually ‘waste’ time. Unnecessary chatter, aimless surfing of the internet and constant checking of emails are but some examples we can find at work. In our private time outside of work, we are even sometimes even less conscious. We are now in an era where we have 24-hour entertainment on demand, instant gratification from the internet and more ways to connect with friends than we know how to deal with.

If we plan our lives through a schedule, it will help us focus our attention on the things that we want to achieve. This includes work, personal relationships, health, our passion and our purpose. I would go so far as to say that if we do not plan our lives, we are setting up ourselves for failure and unhappiness.

The more detailed we are in planning our lives, the more likely we are to succeed in getting what we want. That is not to say that you cannot plan time into your lives to do absolutely nothing. But if you fail to plan, there is a strong chance that you will remain doing absolutely nothing.

With heart and love
Lionel Koh

 

Better to give than receive?

This post is 2 weeks late as I have been unable to log on while I was in China. This reminds me that we cannot control everything in our lives and our reactions will determine our outcome. Now back to the topic I was intending to post earlier….

I read a note from my teacher and friend Martin Hahn. He believes that “we are all hardwired to look out for one another and offer each other the gifts we have been given so that we can all be fulfilled and live in abundance.”

He asked whether we are really open to receiving gifts from others. Do we allow ourselves to receive with gratitude? Or do we feel guilty when asking others for help or you feel bad about receiving gifts?

There is a saying that it is better to give then to receive. A comment from Christine Hahn puts another perspective on this. She said she once heard someone tear this one apart quite neatly by saying that it’s a mathematical impossibility. In order to give, you have to have someone willing to receive. And by not accepting what is being offered, you are in effect DENYING the giver the blessings he will receive from the simple act of giving.

On that note, when we refuse help we are actually causing suffering, both to ourselves and others by denying them the blessings they can receive from giving help.

It is not just about giving or receiving. It is all about balance. How well we manage this balance is how well we will do in our lives. Also, said Martin, when you receive you have more to give to others. This is true especially if you are looking to touch and help others. It comes back to having a heart of gratitude. The more gratitude you have, the more you are open to receiving. I also believe that when you receive, it becomes your duty to give away something so that you bless others, just like you have been blessed.

What do you think? Can you receive with gratitude and give with love? Drop me a note on your thoughts.

With heart and love
Lionel Koh

 

What is your default mode?

Under pressure, most of us revert to default mode. This is our pre-conditioned response and many times it over-rides all the good work we have done in keeping it in check.

Case in point was my experience today. I was driving real slowly behind a learner driver and up came a speeding taxi behind me. He gave me a few toots of his horn. I continued to drive slowly as it was a narrow road and I couldn’t overtake the car in front of me. When we made a turn finally, the taxi came up alongside me, showed me his middle finger and sped ahead, slowed down next to the learner driver and showed them the middle finger too.

Guess what happened? My default mode kicked in. The red mist descended and a few choice expressions escaped my lips accompanied by my middle finger. Now, I have doing pretty well keeping my cools these few months and letting a lot of things slide. Why did I react that way? Over the years I realised that when emotions go up, intelligence goes down (Thank you Blair). This was one of those times.

While there is no excuse for my behaviour, I will allow myself to learn from this. I am now recommitting to managing my emotions better. The Universe constantly tests us in ways we do not expect, just to see if we are committed to do what we say we will. This episode did not necessarily undo all the hard work I have been putting in but it definitely showed up that I am human and still have some way to go.

What do you do when you are under pressure? Do you easily revert to default mode? Or do you make a conscious effort to manage your emotions (and thus your actions)? Have you been able to change your default mode?

Drop me your comments. I would like to hear from you.

With heart and love
Lionel Koh

I tagged Lisa Tan-Koh and Versa Creations to share their views on this post.

 

The tragedy of life…

Randy Gage, in his latest blog “Dying to Live or Living to Die”, talked about his friend Carol who recently took the life of her father as well as her own. He was saddened by the incident and was reminded of his own situation 15 years ago when he almost took his own life.

Death is the ultimate decider. It is final. In the words of one of my early mentors, “Everything else is negotiable except being alive!”. We only have one life and what we make of it is entirely up to us. If we are happy, sad, ecstatic or depressed, it is usually a result of choices we made earlier on how we wanted to live our lives. Despite all that is going on in the world today, there is still much joy and hope that we can find. The sad thing is that most of us have forgotten how to hope, to dream and to live.

I recently received a link from a friend that showed Tony Melendez playing the guitar and singing in front of the late Pope John Paul II. The Pope was so touched that he walked up to Tony and gave him a kiss. Mind you, the walk from the Pope’s stage to Tony was not a short walk and the Pope even had to leap off the stage to get to Tony.

Tony was playing the guitar WITH HIS FEET! When he started learning, almost everyone said that it was impossible. With courage, self-motivation and family support, he did it and went on to inspire a lot of people as can be seen in this clip (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shK0DZHd81E). How many of us would react in disbelief that Tony can play so beautifully, or even play at all? But in Tony’s mind, it was not a if he can play but WHEN he can play.

In whatever we do we have a choice. To do our best or to just get by. The choice that we usually take will determine the results we usually get.

When times are tough or when we meet setbacks, we may feel like not going on and giving up. There may be times when we question the logic and the wisdom of starting in the first place. There are days when we don’t feel motivated enough to want to make one more call, write one more email or see one more person. The good news is this is normal; it means we are human.

For us to hope and dream, we have to get in touch with our hearts and use less of our heads. It is said that ““The longest journey a man must take is the eighteen inches from his head to his heart”. If we get stuck in our heads all the time, we will very likely not get very far. Even if we do get what we want materially, it is very unlikely that we will be truly happy. Getting in touch with our hearts will very often help us get through the tough times as we tend to be more connected to our surroundings and people.

The point that Tony, Randy, Nick Vujicic and so many other inspirational teachers out there today are trying to make is to live life by choice and make the most of it. Be thankful for what we have and dare to dream. Do not worry too much about what others are saying, as long as you follow your heart and do not hurt others.

I leave you with two anonymous quotes that sum up what I am trying to say: “The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.” and “There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart, pursue those.”

Feel free to leave your thoughts and comments. I would love to hear from you.

With heart and love
Lionel Koh

 

11 ways to live life fully

These lessons came from Predicament. I strive to be mindful and live my life this way. I invite you all to do so too.

1) Breathe – breath is life. Invigorate your whole body by breathing deeply into your core. Be purposeful in this practice.

2) Stay present – the divine exists in the now. Neither the future nor the past holds your key to lasting peace and happiness.

3) Gratitude – practice being grateful for what you already have.

4) Expand – include everything that is. Any amount of separation you choose causes suffering.

5) Connect – deep connection is what we all long for. Connection to the divine force in everything is the key to success. Be the example.

6) Speak your truth – never forfeit the truth for acceptance. Always follow your heart.

7) Be BIG! – playing small serves no one. Be compassionate and show up fully.

8 ) Look after yourself – you body is your temple. Fail to support it and the results will show in everything.

9) Serve others – be willing to give it all away. In the end, all things return to the source from which they came.

10) Be humble – let the Divine in all things shine forth by giving life space to show up fully.

11) Open to receive – allow the love you seek to find you.

With heart and love
Lionel Koh

 

Are you going to finish strong?

Firstly, I want to thank all my friends who sent me various links about Nick Vujicic. Here is a man with no arms, no legs and no worries. His message is very clear: We need to have perspective, vision and make choices.

Whatever that happens to us, we have the choice of taking whatever perspective we want. How you see yourself is the first key, Nick says. You have to give yourself credit. Even if the whole world has a different opinion, you don’t have to agree. Find one positive thing in your life that NO ONE can argue with, hang on to it and move from there.

We have to be thankful for who we are and what we have. My friend Martin Hahn sent me a video link recently on Facebook..it’s message is “Today is the best day of my life”. It is the best day because I am alive. I must be thankful that I am alive and still have the choices and opportunities to make my life the way I envision it to be. If I don’t live a life of gratitude, then I surely won’t get more of what I already have.

Our mind stops us from achieving our dreams, our goals and our vision. We have to stop ourselves from asking what we don’t have and start looking at what we do have and work with that. This grateful attitude and perspective will help us overcome the challenges that will surely come our way as we move through life. Do we see things as obstacles and problems or do we see them as challenges and gifts? The way we answer this question will determine what action we take next.

In life, we fall down. It is all part of being human. However, sometimes we choose to stay down rather than pick ourselves up and move again. Some will ask “What if I pick myself up and fall down again? and again?”. Well, then we just have to pick ourselves up again and again. The moment we stop is the moment we take ourselves out and have NO CHANCE of finishing. Nick says ” It doesn’t matter if you fall down a hundred times. It is not the end. It matters how you are going to finish. Are you going to finish strong?” If the answer is yes, then you will find the strength to get back up.

Nick Vujicic also says that the day you believe you have reached your fullest potential is the day you haven’t. It is because we still have today and still have choices on what we do. The only limits that we have in life are those that we put on ourselves. Things will come if you keep moving forward…sometimes in baby steps.

Nick sees his situation as a gift not a disability. He sees it as a chance for him to go out there, touch people with his story and make a difference. He doesn’t need arms and legs to hold someone’s heart. All he needs is to give his heart and magic will take place.

I invite you to try it out and give our hearts unreservedly for once. It may feel awkward at first and we may even get negative reactions. However, if we stay the course and stay true to our hearts, it will eventually pay off and we will get move love, fulfillment and contentment in our lives.

With heart and love
Lionel Koh